To the Person who said: "Sounds like... you are the internet bully" on Haters gonna Hate

It's called sarcasm. way to catch on.

To the Person who said: "been married for 30 years, never left the honeymoon stage. you're wrong"

congrats. your the acception.

Oh yeah...wait a second, I was talking about marriage. I was talking about high school relationships and seeing as how you've been married for 30 years you know nothing about that. So your wrong.

This Is Me Trying To Cope

Love is so god damn complicated. I don't understand it.

Here I am, slightly unhappy, so I try to better myself and I try to become more happy. Just to realize that although I may have been slightly unhappy every now and then I am now completely and utterly miserable by myself. I don't even feel like I want a lot out of people. The only thing I want is for them to treat me how they would want me to treat them. I feel that is a simple enough concept.

I thought that I was maybe strong enough to do this, but after it was done I realized that what made me so strong was...him.

You know you're screwed when the only person that you want to comfort you is the one that you just destroyed. I feel like in general I am a huge fan of love, I'm a fan of commitment. But I'm not a fan of this, I'm not a fan of not knowing what to do, not knowing if what I did was the right thing or not. Not knowing what will come next, not knowing if I should go back, not knowing if I should move on.

But I don't want to move on. Because moving on means trying to forget all of the good times, like my stupid songs, that consist of the same three notes, black jack tacos, watching thunderstorms together, making mac and cheese at one in the morning, playing video games until we get too competitive that we have to stop, going to every single movie that comes out, dancing, singing like total idiots.

I don't want to forget about that. I just want to create more memories like that.

I just want this to work out for the better. We've shared almost two years of our lives together, all I want to do is keep sharing our lives together. I just want everything back. I'm sorry.

In 'Like'

What's the point of saying "I'm in like with you"?
Are you saying it because you feel that it's too early to say love? Or maybe because the word 'love' is too serious of a word? Even though you'll end up saying it anyway.

I don't understand why people say that they're in 'like' with someone? What is that? The step right before they're in love? Or are they in love and they don't want to admit it? Or do they feel like they're in love but they don't know how the other person feels and they don't want to scare them away? Or are you just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you could be in love? Or maybe you don't want to be judged by other people so you don't want to say 'love' yet.

I just don't understand the point of saying "I'm in like with you".

I feel like it's kind of a disappointing thing to say...I mean I'm glad you like me, but I like a lot of things...I like chocolate, rain, my dog, Fridays, the smell of Lowes, my friends. Saying that your in 'like' with someone sounds so..uncertain, dull, scared, and just disappointing.

Maybe people say it because they lack the proper words for how they are feeling because I feel like there are more steps then just liking someone and loving someone. I know there are more steps than that.

Moon Rays and Rainy Days

Whenever I get lonely, thinking about people I miss. I find it really comforting to hear the rain on my roof or to look out at the sky and see the moon and realize that the same rain had to hit them before it came to me...and to realize that the same moon shines over them at the exactly same time.

These thoughts just help me feel closer I guess.

This Is Where I'm At 2

You know how someone can make you the happiest person in the world? But they not only have the ability to make you laugh until you cry they also have the power to frustrate you till no end?


That's where I'm at right now. I love how you make me happy but I love how we fight, I love that we stand up for each other, we push each other. I think that's good I think people need to push each other. I love that we don't take each others crap. I love that when we fight, we fight. And when we love, we love.


This is where I've been, this is where I'll always be at.

This Is Where I'm At 1

You know that "Wow I desperately miss this person" feeling? The one where it causes you pain, physical pain because you just can't bare to go through another bad day without a reassuring hug? I don't even know how the pain part goes about happening, but it does.

This is where I'm at right now.

I'm at the point where I struggle with the decision of talking or sleeping, because if I sleep at least I can see you and for a little while it feels like we're together which is the best feeling...being together. Being so freaking happy all the time, smiling so much my face hurts..and I love that feeling. I love that I can be so happy that it hurts to smile and laugh.

You know the feeling of being lost? Or uncertainty? Because you just don't know what to expect all of a sudden and your kind of nervous because your rock isn't around at the moment? Because you have nothing to lean on?

That's where I'm at right now, when I'm not happy as I can be I'm just kind of roaming through this fog of uncertainty and nervousness because when I don't have you by my side I get kind of nervous I guess. I guess I'm nervous because your my protector...and when you aren't there to protect it's nerve-racking because now anything can touch me, and not only are you my protector but your my rock, your what I lean on when things get to me. Your more than my protector and my rock, and my crappy day pick-me-up.

You're my hero, you're my best friend.

Haters Gonna Hate

Ah, the fine art of being an anonymous internet bully.

It's more challenging than what you may think...but there are only really two requirements:

First, you can't have any self confidence or 'guts' to say your opinions to the person's face.
Second, you have to be as rude and inconsiderate as your conscience will allow.

You may be wondering how this is a hard task? Because when things are anonymous everyone is a tough guy. Well the difficulty aspect comes in when the receiver decides how effective your pathetic attempts are.

They will probably fail most of the time, because there isn't anything big and scary about someone who is only a tough guy behind the keyboard. If you have an opinion about something, then put your big girl and boy pants on and say it to my face.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I enjoy listening to people's feedback about my blog but if all your gonna do is sit behind your keyboard and try to be a tough guy by being a pathetic prick then think again. Because I have absolutely no respect for people who can only find their balls when they're alone in their bedroom on their computer. My respect goes to the people who have the guts to voice their opinions because that means they have enough self confidence to do so.

So until you can find your self confidence, get the hell out of here.

Number One

You know that horrible 'dirt has more meaning than me' feeling? That's the worst. The feeling of just..crap. And the only thing that could fix this feeling is someone that you care about telling you something amazing.

But you know what's worse than the 'dirt has more meaning than me' feeling? The feeling you get after the person you care about makes you feel even worse. You know; when the thing that comes out of their mouth confirmed that dirt does actually have more meaning to them then you.

Yeah that sucks. Really really bad. It sucks because no one should ever feel like dirt is worth more than them, and someone shouldn't ever confirm this persons feelings. Especially when they're your number one. Because them being your number one means that they mean a lot to you. So you shouldn't have to go seeking help from numbers two and three because number one left you to crash and burn.

When your at your all time low, it's interesting who you turn to. It's interesting who you trust will be able to give you the pick-me-up you need...and then it's even more interesting when your number one lets you crash and burn because their 'busy'...and they just can't take one second...one flipping second from what they're doing to help you. And the real kicker is that they are your number one. So...aren't you suppose to be their number one also?
I mean...when someone is my number one, I make sure that I always have one ity bity second to help them with anything that may be bothering them. How hard is it to return that favor? I don't think it's too much to ask.

That's all people really want I think...people just want to be treated how they treat other people. People don't want to feel like dirt, and they don't want to feel like dirt means more than they do. People want to be loved, and respected.

How hard is that?

Comfort

I'm sick of putting myself out there just to get shut down.

I guess I'm not getting totally shut down, but I hate opening up to people completely and then getting nothing back. That totally sucks. Because when you open up to someone you naturally are hoping for them to open up a little bit in return and then when they just stay concealed your just left there standing alone, just you and all your personal fears or thoughts or feelings. And then the other person is just standing there all protected.

And the worst part of it is now the person that's standing there all protected has stuff against you. Now they know more about you then you know about them and know you are vulnerable.

I hate being vulnerable. I think everyone does...it's not a fun feeling. And this is why most people don't open up. But I feel like if someone opens up a little to you and shares their fears, and thoughts and feelings with you then the least you could do is share a little bit of yours. Because that way, no one would feel vulnerable because now you both know personal things about each other. It's a total win-win.

So...when someone is telling you about their fears, and thoughts and feelings. Don't just agree and act like you don't give a shit because even if you do we won't know because you don't act like you do. And what's the point of giving a shit if you don't even show the person that you care for them? You can't just keep those thoughts to yourself. Besides; I don't think people tell other people their problems just to be agreed with. People tell other people their problems because they want to be comforted. They want to know that their fears aren't anything to fear.

So comfort them! Don't make them more afraid then what they were before they started opening up to you.

Long Distance Relationships

Oh, the burning hell of a long distance relationship. The torture that it brings, it makes me wonder why people do it. Sometimes I wonder why I'm doing it.

I mean, I dislike long distance relationships so much that I wouldn't recommend them to anyone. It's because they're hard. I mean, they are really something else. They rip your heart apart and burn the pieces up and then put what ever is left to the ultimate test.

The test of being alone most of the time. The test of having to deal with being around other couples who are in the honeymoon stage deep, and couples who are just plain in love, or just couples in general. And this is a harder test then what it might sound like. And if you make it through those tests you get to undergo the test of Valentines Day...and if Valentines Day doesn't fall on a weekend, then you just might have to endure it on your own, and be overwhelmed with roses, teddy bears, chocolates, valentines, and happy couples, all day long. And the only thing you have connecting you to your significant other, is your cell phone or skype.

Long distance relationships make you be away from your special someone for weeks and months at a time. It jerks tears, it makes your eyes puffy in the morning, cause you've cried yourself to sleep for the last 3 consecutive nights. It makes you miss them before you are even separated...and maybe you don't miss them...but you start missing not being able to touch them, or talk to them face to face, or tickle them, or hug or kiss them, or laugh with them whenever you want.

So...you might be thinking, if they're so bad then why am I apart of one?

Well...I don't recommend this kind of relationship to people because it causes me a lot of pain. And I don't want other people to have to experience it. But I'm in one because the person I'm with...is 110% worth the pain. He's worth the tears, and the puffy eyes, and the sadness, and the Valentines Day from hell. He's worth it because I can't see myself with anyone else. And I don't want to be with anyone else. I'm in a long distance relationship because I found someone that I don't mind suffering for because when I eventually get to see him...for a few hours, or for a day, or for a weekend, for a week, a month. It's completely worth all the pain, because the pain can't compare to the stupid smile I can't hold back when I see him. It can't compare to the butterflies that I still get for some reason.

I'm in a long distance relationship because I'm in love, and I feel like people should always do whatever it takes for love to be successful. If you love someone then you should be with them no matter what because they are the ones that make you happy, and smile like an idiot, they're the one's that drive you crazy, frustrate you to no end, but you just can't get enough of them.

I guess I don't suggest long distance relationships to people who don't wanna feel a little pain, I don't recommend them to people who don't like being alone, I don't recommend them to people who worry a lot. I do recommend them to people who are in love, I recommend them to people who don't care about a few hundred miles, and I recommend them to people who like big rewards.

Because when you hug your significant other for the first time in a few weeks, you remember why your in a long distance relationship, and it all of a sudden becomes very worth the lonely days, and depressing nights.

Your just, worth it to me.

Sweet Summertime

Does anyone else miss summer as much as me?

I miss the sun beaming on my face, I miss going to the lake, I miss shooting off fireworks, I miss going to the ocean, staying up late, sleeping in late, and running bare foot on the bright green grass. I miss the thunderstorms and the rain bows. I miss carrying my bathing suit around where ever I go "just in case". I miss wearing flip flops every day and I miss painting my toes a new set of colors every Sunday. I miss wearing sun dresses and driving around with the radio up and the windows down. I miss full moons and warm nights. I miss man hunt, and bonfires, and playing in the rain. I miss sunglasses and Not My Dad's...I miss eating ice cream for dinner, and waking up to the smell of freshly cut grass. I miss lemon aid and BBQ's. I miss catching fire flies, campouts, and bike rides.

I miss summer :/

Favorite Song of the Day

Sandcastle Disco by Solange

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCJRD7ciFE0

Lyrics:
Who would've known
The rain and the sunshine
Would Ooh Baby Baby
Build up these walls of mine?
And I can't see you or breathe you
Cause there's trouble right beneath you
It's all in the night
But ooh baby baby
Come pick me up in your ride

I'm a cool low Jane
With a skip on my feet
I play tough as nails
With my heart on my sleeve
I'm nothing but a sandcastle
Baby don't blow me away away

Baby I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Baby I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Who would've known
The storm of my past times
Would ooh baby make me
Losing the song of the eye

And I can't believe you or read you
Cause the pleasure in your preview
It's all in your eyes
But oh Mr. DJ, baby, can you meet me out side

You're a old school dude
With a kick on your shoes
You got groove in your hand
The way you spin those tunes
I'm nothing but a sand castle
Baby don't blow away away


Baby I know you do this to all the girls
But Baby I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Baby I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Ooh and just like the ocean
Lays right there behind me
Look over my sandcastle
And there's a sight to see
Don't blow me away
Don't blow me baby

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
ba ba ba ba ba

Ooh baby I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Baby I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
And bay ba ba ba ba-by
Please don't blow me away

Away Away

Ba ba-da, ba ba ooh ooh Away away x2

Ba ba-da, ba ba ooh ooh
Ba ba-da, ba ba ooh ooh

I Miss Your Voice

I understand how convenient texting is, but I mean don't you guys get tired of texting sometimes?
Some of you are probably thinking, that I'm crazy for making such a statement. Because you suck at talking on the phone. Yeah, you know why you suck at talking on the phone? Because you don't ever talk on the phone because you are always texting.

Today, we live in a world where everyone wants everything now, and they want things to be very convenient. Which is fine, but heaven forbid if you pick up the phone just to call someone and tell them that you love them, or just talk to them about your day. A texting conversation can take all day and you don't move through much material, a phone call can take 15 minutes if you want it to, or it can take 2 hours, and you can get through all kinds of topics...but no matter how long it takes, it means more than a text because you can actually hear the persons voice. And hear the emotion in their voice...therefore, making calling way more personal then texting and I think that's something else that society is sprinting away from. We're running away from personal things, people don't really talk anymore, they text, or e-mail, or Facebook chat. At least when our grandparents were our age they wrote letters and it was in their own hand writing...and they were long, and a lot of the time they were about love and important things going on in their lives.


I just wish people put more...effort? into communicating with other people/people they care about. I mean, now-a-days it's like...a treat if someone calls you instead of texts you. That's pretty pathetic, people should just take a few minutes out of their day and just say what they were gonna say in a text, but actually say it themselves. Because when you think about it, in the amount of time it takes to type out the text, and send it, possibly resend it, and then the receiver has to first realize that they have received a message, and then once they read it, and respond and then you respond to their response...you could have just picked up the phone, called them...said what you wanted to say and be done. And it would be 10x more personal because the person you called could actually hear your voice instead of just read what your saying in their head.

I just don't see the harm in picking the phone up every now and then to just say hi. Because I get tired of texting. I miss your voice.

Favorite Song of the Day

Mary's Song (oh my, my, my) by Taylor Swift

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx0CRJSACr0&feature=related

Lyrics:

She said, I was seven and you were nine
I looked at you like the stars that shined
In the sky, the pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
Growing up and falling in love and our mamas smiled
And rolled their eyes and said oh my my my

Take me back to the house in the backyard tree
Said you'd beat me up, you were bigger than me
You never did, you never did
Take me back when our world was one block wide
I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried
Just two kids, you and I...
Oh my my my my

Well, I was sixteen when suddenly
I wasn't that little girl you used to see
But your eyes still shined like pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
They never believed we'd really fall in love
And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes
And said oh my my my...

Take me back to the creek beds we turned up
Two A.M. riding in your truck and all I need is you next to me
Take me back to the time we had our very first fight
The slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight
You stayed outside till the morning light
Oh my my my my

A few years had gone and come around
We were sitting at our favorite spot in town
And you looked at me, got down on one knee

Take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle
Our whole town came and our mamas cried
You said I do and I did too
Take me home where we met so many years before
We'll rock our babies on that very front porch
After all this time, you and I

I'll be eighty-seven; you'll be eighty-nine
I'll still look at you like the stars that shine
In the sky, oh my my my...

Favorite Song of the Day

Suga Suga by Baby Bash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9vGDJlsSOo&feature=related

Lyrics:
So tight, so fly
You got me lifted, you got me lifted

[Chorus (Frankie J.):]
You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?

[Baby Bash]
You know its leather when we ride
We're flinging rawhide
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high
Gurl you keep it so fly with you sweet hunnybuns
You was there when the money was gone
You’ll be there when the money comes
Off top I can't lie I love to get blowed
You my lil'sugar, I'm yo little chulo
And every time we kick it it’s off to the groovy
Treat you like my sticky ickey or my sweet oowy goowy (fa real though)

You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?

[Baby Bash]
Now I ain't worried about a thang cause I just hit me a lick
I got a fat sack and a superfly chick
There ain't nothing you can say to a playa
Cause doowop, she fly like the planes in the air
That’s right she’s full grown setting the wrong tone
I'm digging the energy and I'm loving the o-zone
So fly like a dove so fly like a raven
Quick to politic with some fly conversation
In a natural mood then I'm a natural dude
And we some natural fools blowing out by the pool
She like my sexy-cool mama with blades on her berata
Rockin' Dolce Gabbana (Italian) with highdrows and a Cubana

You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?

[Brige]
You know its leather when we ride
We're flinging rawhide
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high
Gurl you keep it so fly with you sweet hunnybuns
You was there when the money was gone
You’ll be there when the money comes

You know its leather when we ride
We're flinging rawhide
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high
Gurl you keep it so fly with you sweet hunnybuns
You was there when the money was gone
You’ll be there when the money comes (fa real though)

You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?
Suga suga how you get so fly?

So high like I'm a star
So high like I'm a star
So high like I'm a star
So high like I'm a star

Azucar

Don't Forget

I like to know what people get from my blog after reading some of my posts, so make sure you 'digg' the posts you liked and 'trash' the ones you don't :) 

the buttons are at the bottom of each post. And if the buttons don't do it for you feel free to leave a comment letting me know what you think :)

Thanks :)

Hopelessly Hopeful

I think one of the worst things someone could ever do to themselves is think of something to say that goes against their intuition...but then say it anyway. You know, that one thing that you want to say to someone but you know in the back of your head that they aren't gonna say anything to make you feel better even though you desperately want them to.

I hate how hopelessly hopeful I am all the time. Of pretty much everything too...and that's a problem. It's a problem because being hopeful of good things normally hurts me more then helps me. Which is sad because you would think that hoping for the best would be a good thing, but it's actually the worst thing. Because...not to sound like a pessimist or anything but when you hope for the best then you are just getting your hopes up for someone to say something that falls along the lines of what you had hoped for...and then when they don't it just leaves you more hopeless than before.

Which is just as equally as sad as not being able to be hopeful for good things. Because now you can't hope for good things, and you can't be hopeful for good things because your just gonna hurt yourself more in the end.

I don't want to be afraid to be hopeful. I feel like maybe if people were always truly honest and weren't afraid to tell the truth or share all of their thoughts or feelings then maybe people would be able to be hopeful...because for someone to be hopeful there must have been something said or done to give them that hope..it didn't just come to them, it was given to them.

So I guess I wish people were more honest, especially with ones they care about, or are suppose to care about because the people that care about us are the ones that are instilling these hopes in us. So it's completely stupid that they are also the ones who are shutting us down and making us feel worse than before.

I think one of the worst things you could do to yourself is go against your intuition. But one of the worst things you could do to somebody else is not give them the whole truth when they ask for it...(and probably even when they don't ask for it). Because when you don't tell somebody exactly how you feel about something then they won't ever know, and don't think that they just do...because nobody ever knows anything unless they are told. That's just how people are...and if you think that people can just pick up on hints, then your wrong, because people never pick up on hints like we would like them to.

Maybe if people stopped giving only part of the truth to the people they cared about then people like me wouldn't have to be hopelessly hopeful all the time. Because we would just know, we wouldn't have to second guess, or hope for the best, because we would have the best, and we would know that we have the best.

Favorite Song of the Day

She's So High by Tal Bachman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ElORM9O-0U

Lyrics:

She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound

But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah

'Cause she's so high...
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high...
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high...
High above me

First class and fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything

What could a guy like me
Ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be
Why should I even bother?
'Cause she's so high...
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high...
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high...
High above me 

She comes to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal

But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
'Cause she's so high...
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high...
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high...
High above me 

Favorite Song of the Day

Don't You Wanna Stay? by Jason Aldean

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIjkVn_ro0g


Lyrics:

I really hate to let this moment go,
touching your skin and your hair falling slow,
when your goodbye kiss, feels like this,

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way,
Don't you wanna stay?

Let's take it slow I don't want to move too fast,
I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last,
When your on this high, its a sad goodbye,

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way,
Don't you wanna stay?

Oh yeahhh,
Oh you feel so perfect baby,
Yeah it feels so perfect baby,
Don't you wanna stay here a little while,

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way,
Don't you wanna stay?

Don't you wanna stay,
yeah yeah yeahhh,
yeah yeah yeahhh.

Crazy Bitch

I hate it when people aren't thankful for what they have.

Mostly when it comes to having other people around them that love them. Okay, I actually just hate rude and inconsiderate girlfriends.

I also can't stand overly jealous girlfriends...which normally goes hand in hand with the rude inconsiderate thing. You know, the kind that don't deserve a boyfriend in the first place? I hate that kind of girlfriend.

The kind of girlfriend that is too thickheaded to even see how lucky she is. The kind that is too wrapped up in herself she can't even think enough to care about anyone else for more then one second. Which leads to her only thinking of herself and that leads to her never thinking about the life you may lead. Which is a weird thought to her. The thought that...oh my gosh, he just might live for more then just you. That's some mind blowing stuff right there.

I hate it when girls get all caddy about their boyfriends. Or when the girlfriend is a bitch to all the girls that are nice to her boyfriend...just nice. I guess it's weird that I actually want my boyfriend to have friends? Because heaven forbid if he's friends with someone that happens to be a female. It must mean that he wants to have sex with her :/

Except it doesn't. I mean, if you can't trust your own boyfriend...if you can't trust that he's faithful to you, then at least try and trust the girl (if you know her) and even if you don't...why would you automatically assume that she's some kind of slut? It's really pathetic if you can't even trust your own boyfriend though...because you know, your suppose to know him and what not.

I just don't understand why some girlfriends feel like it's okay to be a total bitch to their boyfriend all the time. What are you trying to do? Change him? Teach him a lesson? Test him? Well, you can only change, and teach and test for so long before he realizes that the sex isn't even that good anyway, and he could...no he definitely can and most likely will do better for himself. He just has to build up the guts to break up with your crazy ass.

Single-Awareness Day

Valentines Day is such a love-hate kind of 'holiday'. Your suppose to love it if you have someone to celebrate it with. But you hate it if you don't have anyone because when you don't have anyone its a 24 hour reminder that your lonely.

Except you probably aren't as lonely as you think you are. I know what it's like to be lonely on Valentines Day, it sucks, if your lonely it's not called Valentines Day it's called Single-Awareness Day. It's unfortunate that it has to be so cut throat. Maybe it doesn't have to be though.

My definition of Valentine's Day is the one day of the year where you show unconditional love for the whole day. No matter what, you are suppose to be happy, and all lovey-dovey for the whole day.

I understand that it's hard to be happy and lovey-dovey if your lonely. But just because you might not have someone doesn't mean that you don't have anyone. There are still people who love you even if they aren't the 'one'. There are people that still care for you.

I don't know if I like Valentine's Day though, because based on my definition your suppose to be happy and act like your in love for the whole day...for the day. So...when the day is over then you can just stop pretty much. Except you shouldn't stop.

That's why I don't like Valentine's Day because people get all hell bent 6 ways if their significant other isn't all lovey-dovey on Valentine's Day. Yes, it would be nice if they were nice to you...but what about the other 364 days of the year? I would rather have someone who is always some kind of lovey-dovey for the whole year then on just one day. I want to feel loved everyday, not just on Valentine's Day. I think it's kind of messed up that people get so stressed about Valentine's Day, it's like the whole relationship revolves around this one day and it shouldn't. The relationship should revolve around the two people in it not the holidays it may come across.

Ding Ding

Is it weird that fighting with ones I love doesn't bother me that much?

That half didn't come out as I meant it, because you probably think I'm some kind of crazy, I mean; who would enjoy fighting? Nobody. What I meant was...fighting and then being to able to make up with the ones I love makes me really happy.

Remember when in middle school whenever you would get into a fight with your significant other it was almost a sure sign for a break up? The fight could have been over something as useless as someone taking your pencil and then your significant other hearing about it and boom. No more relationship.

Well, I love the fact that I can get into a teeth grinding, wall punching, cursing your name, say things I don't mean, "I hate you" kind of fights and know as I'm fighting that eventually we will make up and everything will be okay again.

I mean, fighting in general isn't that bad of a thing...yes people get hurt emotionally most of the time because of the harsh things said. But those harsh things are normally said because your frustrated that you aren't getting your point across. Which is why the fight started in the first place...the fight started because something was said, and it bothered you. And instead of letting it go, you stood up for yourself and let the other person know that you have a problem with something.

I think that's really good with relationships because if you just go through the relationship without standing up for yourself or without bringing up things that bother you...the all the things that have ever bothered you during the relationship will eventually come up...instead of having an argument...you'll have yourself a war. You'll have a war because now instead of the fight being about one little thing it's about tons and tons of little things that actually end up equally about 6 nukes instead of a couple of grenades.

So...I guess this might sound a little weird, but I think I might be encouraging fighting. Or at least standing up for yourself and be vocal, let the other person know that something they do bothers you or they'll keep doing it because you never said anything.

And if this is a big boy and girl relationship then you will both make up and get over it and you'll learn. That's why I don't mind fighting, because once we make up it's kind of nice to know that we can fight about ridiculous things and call each other all sorts of things out of anger and still be together. It kinda makes me feel more secure in the relationship. So being in the fighting ring with you doesn't really bother me, cause once I hear that ding ding I know that we'll still be okay.

Favorite Song of the Day

Unwell by Matchbox 20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WziA88-n02k


Lyrics:
All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be

Love Song; Say What?

I am currently enjoying some music on Itunes....for those of you that don't know Itunes is doing this 69 cent love songs and they have love songs from the 60's to today. I've listened to just about all of them by now and as I'm listening to the songs...as the decades go on the music really changes.

In the 60's the songs are about how people feel when they are with another person. The songs are about love, true love. The people are singing their hearts out about something real and true. This continues all the way up until the end of the 90's and today.

I think it's really pathetic how today there aren't any true blue songs about just; love. I don't want to hear about how Enrique doesn't mean to be rude, but tonight; he's "fucking you.". I don't want to hear Akon try to be polite and call some girl a "sexy bitch". I don't know if I can think of an R&B song from today where the artist isn't singing about banging people. Unless the song is a remake of course...

I just don't understand what has happened to love in music. I don't know about everyone else, but sometimes I get really sick and tired of listening to people sing about sex all day long. It's not even good sex, it's One-Night-Stand sex, it's totally unattached sex. I thought music was suppose to be about how people feel, when I hear a song I want to know what that person felt when they wrote it. And I want real music, that techno stuff is fine to a point but I don't wanna hear it all day. Maybe, when Enrique or his song writer was writing Tonight I'm Loving You they were in a horny mood. But I have a really hard time believing that every artists is always in that horny mood.

I guess I'm just saying that sometimes, I just want to hear a genuine song about love...about how it can be real, and I should be able to hear that without listening to Taylor Swift.

I'm Just a Girl, Trying Not to Lose it.

Sometimes, i just need to know that no matter what you say...or how you act. That no matter what, I'm still your number one. Sometimes, I can't be the one that reassures me. Sometimes I need you to do it, because sometimes when jokes are said it kills my confidence. And sometimes I lose my confidence and become vulnerable. I don't like being vulnerable. So I get upset, and scared, and I look for some help from you, so you can give me that confidence boost I need to bring me back. Just understand this:

I'm just a girl, and girls need confidence boosts. We all like to think that we are more confident with ourselves then what we actually are. And sometimes we lose it.

I'm just a girl, and girls need to know that they are loved. We never get tired of hearing how much you love us.

I'm just a girl, and girls need to know when we're missed. If you miss us, you have to let us know because we don't just assume that you do.

I'm just a girl, and girls go by what you tell us. If you don't tell us things because you think we just know...we will think that you just don't feel that way at all.

I'm just a girl, and girls like to feel like they are the only ones that make you feel that way. We don't want to feel like the way we feel is one-sided. Girls don't get tired of hearing about how much you care about us.

I'm just a girl, and girls are more insecure then they like to admit. We don't like to vulnerable, we are fragile things, and need to hear you say nice things to us...because girls forget, constantly.

I try to get a grip and not be such a girl for you. But sometimes I lose it.

Favorite Song of the Day

That's All sung by Michael Buble

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppSTGS7CDpk&feature=related

Michael didn't write the song...but I like his voice, and this is simply just a really good love song :)

Lyrics:

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all...

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter's night
That's all,
That's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

Favorite Song of the Day

Follow Through- Gavin DeGraw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftTfViVNwiM

Lyrics:

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
You to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I'm holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
You to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
The words you say to me are unlike anything
That's ever been said
And what you do to me is unlike anything
That's ever been
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
(For) you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you'll have to follow through
With every word you say
An I, all I really want is you (For) you to stick around
I'll see everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?

Favorite Song of the Day

Where We Belong-Brighten

This is probably my 2nd all time favorite song, maybe?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YwCYjba6bk

Lyrics:

I swear the moon don't hang
round like it used to be
The song from far away
gets brighter every time

I got the feeling like the moon
curled up right next to you
i saw the love and that you do
and let the world unwind

we don't know...
just what to do with it,
what to do with it
we don't know...
just what to do

i like when she sings to me
soft, like singing with the birds and bees
you can put her right next to me
cause that's were we belong now baby
you can catch her on the boulevard
stopping my heart with all the passing cars
keeping me on but left on hold..
I'm singing, oh thank heaven she's so beautiful

Aw!

she likes to listen when i stop this train
just the way we like it in this pouring rain
and i can tell by the way she moves
that she don't play my game
and she's mine, all mine
cant be wasting time
just looking at anyone else but her
she's never gonna leave my mind


she don't know...
just what to do with it,
what to do with it
we don't know...
just what to do

i like when she sings to me
soft, like singing with the birds and bees
you can put her right next to me
cause that's were we belong now baby
you can catch her on the boulevard
stopping my heart with all the passing cars
keeping me on but left on hold..
I'm singing, oh thank heaven she's so beautiful

i couldn't find the reason why
i should be looking at the other ones in line
try to be kind and not lose my mind so i dont
so i dont ever lose you

i like when she sings to me
soft, like singing with the birds and bees
you can put her right next to me
cause that's were we belong now baby
you can catch her on the boulevard
stopping my heart with all the passing cars
keeping me on but left on hold..
I'm singing, oh thank heaven she's so beautiful

oh thank heaven she's so beautiful

Favorite Song of the Day

Talk You Down by my most favorite band...The Script :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBLMI0EzvSo

Lyrics:

I can feel the color running
As it's fading from my face
Try to speak but nothings coming
Nothing I could say to make you stay
Grabbed your suitcase called a taxi
It's 3am now where you gonna go?
Gonna stay with friends in London
And that's all I get to know

Just a cigarette gone
No you couldn't' be that far
So I'm driving in my car where I hope you are
Maybe I can talk you down
Maybe I can talk you down

We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head
and try to open up your eyes
This is relationship suicide

Cos if you go, I go...

Taking shortcuts through the alleys
While your racing through my mind
Cops can chase but they wont catch me
Not before I get to speak my mind
If there's still time

Just a cigarette gone
No you couldn't be that far
So I'm driving in my car where I hope you are
Maybe I can talk you down
Maybe I can talk you down

We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head
and try to open up your eyes
This is Relationship suicide

Cos if you go, I go...
Cos if you go, I go...
Cos if you go, I go...
Cos if you go, I go...

We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head

Just a cigarette gone
No you couldn't be that far
So I'm driving in my car where I hope you are
Maybe I can talk you down
Maybe I can turn around

We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head
and try to open up your eyes
This is Relationship suicide

New Chapter

Ah, the big leap out of the honeymoon stage. What a beautiful thing this is, except it isn't, at all. Most couples break up after 3-4 months because that's when the honeymoon stage is over...and if you make it past that point the next big break up happens around 8 months because the hormone produced in your brain to attract you to someone stops being produced. But I'm not really here to talk about what happens after 8 months. I'm here to talk about what happens after 3-4 months.

The problem with the honeymoon stage is how perfect it truly is. Your significant other is all of a sudden turned into the best damn thing you've ever seen. They do everything you've ever wanted a boyfriend/girlfriend to do. Then once 3-4 months rolls around a lot of it just kind of fades away almost...if they use to call you all the time, they might stop. If they use to call you beautiful all the time, that might stop too. This doesn't necessarily mean that they don't like you anymore...or that they're going to break up with you, maybe they're busy. Maybe they just don't want to call you every single night anymore, maybe they feel like they don't need to call you beautiful because they feel like you already know (which is stupid, but whatever.) it's not because they don't 'love' you anymore, it's because your relationship is moving into the next chapter.

Relationships are just a huge chapter book. You have the introduction, and then you have chapter one which is the cutesy stuff, then chapter two and three continue that. But in chapter four the story takes a slight turn and the person that your with stops appearing to be "perfect". They become to appear more like themselves, and I think that's why people break up here...because all of a sudden you learn what kind person the person that your with is. And some people don't like that. Chapters 5-8 are rediscovering that person, and if you make it through the big 8 then the way the story ends really depends on the people in the relationship. Maybe you'll hit the conclusion of the story, maybe your story will start and stop, or maybe you'll find your happy ending.

All I'm trying to say is, don't panic when your significant other changes after the honeymoon stage. I'm sure they still care about you, but they are going through the honeymoon stage change just like you. Just talk to the person your with. Communication is key. And if you have your doubts, just remember why your with them in the first place. Think about the butterflies you get when you see them. Don't give up on someone because of a new chapter.

Favorite Song of the Day

Bent by Matchbox 20

I feel like this song isn't that awesome when you first hear it...but you warm up to it when you keep listening to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=969RAKkYESU&ob=av2el

Lyrics:
If I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
And if I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk

If I need some other love
Give me more than I can stand
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I'll smile again

Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Just hold me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

You're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
Could you paint me better off
Could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot

I started out clean but I'm jaded
Just phoning it in
Just breaking the skin

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

You're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

Start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces

Start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in

Shouldn't be so complicated
Just touch me and then
Just touch me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

You're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

You're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

Fishing in the Pond

I find it interesting how complex things get when it comes to liking someone. When I say complex I'm talking about all of the necessary steps that have to take place for everything to run smoothly. I mean, everyone does it, even if it's self consciously.

I don't think anyone would want to mess up a good thing between them self and another person. I feel like it's necessary but silly. I think it's silly because in order for this complex ordeal to play out correctly you have to jump threw a number of hoops just to keep your cover from getting blown. And even after jumping through those hoops it sometimes doesn't even work out, or your cover is blown and it doesn't work out. But sometimes it does work out, sometimes your cover gets blown but the feeling is mutual, and sometimes you were sly and witty and everything worked out.

I just don't understand this process sometimes because I feel like people will jump through all kinds of hoops to get you, and once they got you...they kind of stop jumping through the hoops and they kinda start just; walking around them?

I feel like that's a shame, because everyone should realize that once you start the complex cycle of this ridiculous hoop jumping you can't stop. Well...I mean, you can, and people do...almost everyone does. But people shouldn't. Because don't you think that if you spent all of your time and effort jumping through those hoops you should maybe keep it up? It makes sense, if you had to do X, Y, and Z to get the person then maybe you should continue to do similar things for that person to keep them.

Nothing is more disappointing and upsetting then falling for someone because you think they're the best thing since LOST and then you finally get with them just to find out that...surprise! It was just a trick, it was a mind game, they made you think that they were something awesome when in reality all they are is someone who knows how to hook the fish--but they don't know what to do with the fish after that.

All I'm saying is if you are going to make yourself suffer through the viscous cycle of complicated ordeals at least make it pay off, I mean truly pay off. If it takes X, Y, and Z to get you there, then keep doing those things so you can stay there. Don't just hook the fish and let it suffocate on land because you don't know what the hell to do with it.

Favorite Song of the Day

My favorite song today is Home by Micheal Buble

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbSOLBMUvIE

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home 

The Power

It's mind blowing to me how much power one person can have over you.

It's not a bad power, it's a good power. By power I mean the ability to knock your train of thought right off it's tracks just by looking at you, the ability to take your breath away and leave you breathless because of a touch.

It's crazy how a month of nonstop interaction doesn't make you sick of them...it's crazy how after that month you just want them to stay forever. It blows my mind that even though you want to get sick of them you simply can't because they rock your world that much.

This power I'm talking about is so complicated and beautifully dangerous because if the power is only held by one person your in all kinds of trouble. The trick with this power is to have both people harness it. It's important I think for both people to have this power because it's such a fragile thing. It can make your day, and ruin it, it makes you smile for hours, and it makes you cry yourself to sleep for days. It's important for both people to have this power over one another because it is such a delicate thing that it is completely necessary for both people to have it so they know where the other one is coming from. Both people almost would have to harness it so they can be a success because this power makes you almost dependent on the other person.

But it's an almost beautiful dependent, not an annoying pathetic dependent..if you know what I mean.

This power is just so beautiful to me, its so delicate and fragile. It takes so much to make it and so little to break it. And I love the power you have over me.

Favorite Song of the Day

Bright Lights by Matchbox 20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLaLsNkaEq8&ob=av3el

Lyrics:

She got out of town
On a railway New York bound
Took all except my name
Another alien on Broadway
There's some things in this world
You just can't change
Somethings you can't see
Until it gets too late
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I'm up against out in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something
That's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
I got a hole in me now
yeah,I got a scar I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me
In her apartment in the city
Some things in this world
Man, they don't make sense
Some things you don't need
Until they leave you
And they're things that you miss
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I'm up against out in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something
That's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
Let that city take you in, come on home
Let that city spit you out, come on home
Let that city take you down, yeah
God's sake turn around
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I'm up against in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something
That's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
Come on home
Baby, baby, baby
Come on home
Yeah, come on home
Yeah, come on home

The Little Things (Part Two)

I already posted a blog about how the little things are the things that matter most. I decided to post another one because I feel like people forget about the little things.

Which is an awful, sad thing because the little things are much bigger than the big things. To me and the people I know that's how it is at least...

This is going to be hard to explain though...because if I tell you that a hug would mean more to me than a brand new car you might take me as insane. I think that just might be true though. In hindsight I would much rather receive a real I-missed-you-more-then-you-know-hug or a Thank-you-for-being-there-for-me-hug or a I'm-glad-we're-friends-hug I think I would even prefer a It's-Friday-let's-hug-hug.

 I think I would prefer those things more because people can't be replaced. There is only one of me, and will only ever be one of me...there is only one of you and will only ever be only one of you. Think of someone you care deeply about right now...the person in your head, is the only person like that. They are the only one, so you should treat them like it.

And I feel like people don't realize that until it's too late. This is why the little things matter. Because when you look back, maybe you should have stopped for two seconds and just given the person you care about something as simple as a hug instead of jump into a new car because people can replace things like cars very easily. But we can't replace people we love.

It's not hard to brighten a persons day, all you have to do is a little thing. I mean sure getting someone a car would probably make their day...maybe even their month but it will also ruin their day when they spill something in it for the first time or when they have to go fill it up. There isn't anything wrong with a true blue hug, or a kiss, or an 'I love you', 'I miss you', 'You're beautiful', 'I'm thinking about you'.

The little things are the key, don't forget about them.

Favorite Song of the Day

Nothing Left To Lose by Mat Kearney:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7YP4k7rMuc&ob=av3el
This is my new favorite song for today, the course is my favorite part just because of the sound. So at least give the song that much of a chance.
And I'm a lyric nut so you can have those too:

Something's in the air tonight
The sky's alive with a burning light
You can mark my words something's about to break

And I found myself in a bitter fight
While I've held your hand through the darkest night
Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon

To a kid from Oregon by way of California
All of this is more than I've ever known or seen


Come on and we'll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we'll try, one last time
I'm off the floor one more time to find you
And here we go there's nothing left to choose
And here we go there's nothing left to lose

So I packed my car and I headed east
Where I felt your fire and a sweet release
There's a fire in these hills that's coming down
And I don't know much but I found you here
And I can not wait another year
Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon

To a kid from Oregon by way of California
All of this is more than I've ever known or seen


Come on and we'll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we'll try, one last time
I'm off the floor one more time to find you
And here we go there's nothing left to choose
And here we go there's nothing left to lose

I can still hear the trains out my window
From Hobart Street to here in Nashville
I can still smell the pomegranates grow
And I don't know how hard this wind will blow
Or where we'll go


Come on and we'll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we'll try, one last time
I'm off the floor one more time to find you
And here we go there's nothing left to choose
And here we go there's nothing left to lose

Home

I wasn't born and raised in a small town, I moved around a lot as a kid. I guess I don't mind, but if you have never changed school districts, if you have really only lived in one house your whole life, if you don't have to think about where your 'home town' is...then I envy you.

I get kind of irritated when people start complaining about their sleepy little washed up towns. I feel like it's the perfect example of not knowing how good you have it until it's gone. Right now, at this point in our lives we're suppose to hate our towns and want to get the hell out of here as fast as we can and never look back. People get caught up in this rush and it blinds them from all of the good things that are right in front of them. I feel like people who come from sleepy little towns don't realize how harsh the real world actually is. Until they maybe go to college, maybe they don't see how scary the world is...but they do appreciate their sleepy town a lot more. My favorite thing to hear a college kid say is how much they actually like their town, how they don't hate it as much as they thought, and how much they actually love coming home. 

Lost

I haven't written a blog in just about forever, sorry about that. I hope everyone had a really good Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Between all the food, football and family, I can't help but love it. But I didn't want to talk about Thanksgiving and gaining over 5 pounds in two days. I wanted to talk about something else.

Isn't it wild how much you can care about one person? I think it's a little scary sometimes. Being so head over heels that nothing can turn you right side up but them? That's what I'm in right now, I'm head over heels and no one can turn me right side up but you. It's been a crazy year plus a few months that I've been crazy about you and sometimes I don't even know why. Did you know that you still take my breath away? I'm so in love with you that it hurts. Sometime I miss you before you have even left, and when you come back I turn into a little kid on Christmas. I just get all bubbly and excited, I even get nervous to see you, you...my best friend. When you say that your coming to get me, I get all tingly and nervous just like I did the very first time you came to get me.

Have you ever cared about someone so much that you get afraid that they'll leave your life? I use to (still sometimes do) get like that with my mom because she means so much to me. I would be lost without her. Sometimes I feel that way about you too, I get afraid of messing everything up and you leaving my life, I get afraid because without you, I would be lost. I love you with all of my heart and I'm not afraid to let you know. I feel like I don't know how you feel sometimes. Sometimes I know, and sometimes I have no idea, and I just have to kind of...guess. I don't want to guess anymore. I want you to tell me exactly how you feel about me, whenever you think about how you feel about me. And I don't care if it's every five minutes...I will never get sick of hearing that. I'm sorry if I'm annoying to you, when it comes to all of this, but I am a girl...and every girl needs to be reminded that she is cared for, beautiful, and loved. Girls will never get sick of being reminded about things like that. Because, girls are very forgetful, and pretty stupid when it comes to stuff like this. We worry about the little things that we should pay no attention to, and we build up stories in our heads when we go unreminded for a certain amount of time.

So...if you could please bare with me, and my stupid girl stuff, what would be pretty amazing. Because I love you too much for you to leave me here; lost.